Your Daily 1D B.S. – A queue for Harry and guess who did an article on Elounor ¹

by Candy • WTFery • Tags: harry styles, louis tomlinson

I would think even a gossip site would never write a headline like this about a woman, but look what the Mirror 3AM is up to:

Form an orderly queue, girls: Harry Styles isn’t planning on staying single for long

The following quotes don’t even sound like Harry at all, but good news on the lack of a Haylor Valentines Zombie resurrection:

It doesn’t sound like Taylor Swift is going to be spending Valentine’s Day with her ex Harry Styles.

And by the way, do they realize how dumb that sentence sounds. Why would she spend V-Day with her ex? When I got divorced, there was no way in hell I would have wanted to spend V-day with my ex (and I don’t think most people would) so why on earth would a paper ever write such a stupid sentence.

Taylor, 23, says: “I’ll probably spend it with friends or rehearsing.

“I’ll be off in a warehouse somewhere, working on the lighting rig and the lighting cues.

“And I don’t think I’d rather be anywhere else, to be honest.” Ooh-er!

Meanwhile, Harry, 19, says he isn’t planning on staying single.

Of course not! Got to manwhore it up now that he doesn’t have the Taylor ball and chain, right? I’m sure his PR team is panicking, which is why we’re even getting this article.

He tells We Love Pop magazine: “You don’t know what’s going to happen.

“If I like someone, sometimes it doesn’t work out.

“If the right person was there, I’d go for it. I wouldn’t stay single purposefully.”

This is interesting because I think this quote is a plant by PR or whoever. It’s basically saying – “I’m not pining away for Lou and avoiding dating girls while waiting until our dumb contract ends.”

But it probably won’t be love at first sight.

“For me, it’s more infatuation,” Harry admits. “You can see someone and I think ‘She’s amazing.’

This line is a setup to make all the kiddies think they actually have a chance with him. Keep dreaming, kids. Unless you have a penis. And even then, keep dreaming because you have still have no chance. I mean look at your competition. I don’t care who you are or what you look like or how funny you may be. You will lose against this:

“I wouldn’t say I could fall in love at first sight but maybe I just haven’t done that yet.”

“Yet”, girls. YET!

Could have fooled me!!!

  

And good ole Unreality TV jumped right on that Elounor article with the ancient quotes.

…insiders have claimed that Louis Tomlinson is already planning ways to make time for his girlfriend Eleanor Calder in amongst all the madness.

First of all, why would “insiders” even give a fuck if Lou squeezes in time with Eleanor?

…the couple have already planned out their year and that the brunette beauty will try to work her holidays and study breaks around his calendar and meet him around the globe as much as possible.

Maybe this time around Lou will actually plan his hickeys for times when Eleanor was in the vicinity because that didn’t work out so well last time.

  

In return, when he gets an extended break between countries it’s thought that Lou Lou will rush back to the UK to be with the politics student as much as possible.

And what happened to her “beauty studies” LMAO!

In a previous interview with Hollywood Life, the hunk admitted that he sometimes finds the long distance element of their relationship a little bit ‘daunting.’

Haha! My two least favorite gossip sites quoting each other! (That interview was from June 5, 2012 – they couldn’t get anything fresher? LMAO!)  And I think they mess up this paragraph because the way they wrote it seems to say Lou finds it weird that fans DON’T have hate towards her:

Tommo also admitted that he finds it hard when his fans behave negatively towards Eleanor, but insisted that he won’t let the haters ruin their relationship.

“It’s really strange and the majority (of fans) don’t have hate towards her,” he said, adding:

“It gets a little frustrating seeing that, especially when I’m in a happy relationship. But at the end of the day, I am happy and Eleanor is happy, so there’s not really that much more that matters.”