Dlisted is pretty much my hero. Forget Perez, forget TMZ. Dlisted is my fave gossip site ever because Michael K makes me die laughing. When I started Gossip Candy, I aspired to attain even 1/10th of his awesomeness. So, I am laughing so hard because even Dlisted isn’t buying Haylor. He’s one of us.
Serial boy collector, skilled stalker and real estate mogul Taylor Swift has pretty much dropped her dream of becoming Jackie Kennedy Onassis and now she wants to be the Yoko Ono of One Direction. As the One Direction fangirls made Swifty voodoo dolls out of their American Girl Kristen Doll yesterday afternoon, Taylor and her newest 18-year-old piece Harry Styles went to the Central Park Zoo with a baby she kidnapped, because she wants to give the tabloids a file photo to use for when the pregnancy rumors come out. Today, Harry and Taylor will show up to a Starbucks and she’ll wear an antique lace wedding dress to give the tabloids a file photo for when those inevitable marriage rumors come out. Taylor is looking out for you tabloid photo editors.
The humanized version of an Electric Dream Phone, Harry Styles, his hairstylist and his hairstylist’s baby went to see the sea lions and I’m sure they also fed the ducks, shared a pumpkin spice latte and later curled each other’s hair before having a pillow fight on her princess canopy bed. You know, some people are screaming about how Taylor keeps trolling kindergarten playgrounds for boyfriends since lately she’s been dating barely legal twinks. But Taylor is a 12-year-old girl trapped in a Pollyanna mannequin, so she’s actually dating dudes older than her.