(I feel like this gif pretty much summarizes 1D's sex life in a nutshell. Look how smug Louis looks! He literally is the only one that looks like he knows what he's doing! Niall looks like he's trying so hard he's gonna break something. Liam certainly is trying hard too but I'm not sure what he's got going on there. Zayn looks fascinated by the concept of topping and Harry's not even trying, preferring instead to look over at Louis. Alrighty boys. By the way, this has nothing to do with the topic of this post whasoever. It just fascinated me.)
My niece has been obsessed with Ancestry.com and has been adding every single animal I've ever owned as "children" to Ancestry's records of me. Some day, some descendant of my family is going to be searching through records and saying WTF! Anyways, the Daily Mirror has a fascinating article about 1D's roots:
Research by family history website Ancestry.co.uk shows Harry Styles may not have been born had his great-great-great grandad Martin Boon not survived an horrific accident in 1893.
Inn-keeper Martin was driving a friend home late at night when his horse and cart smashed into a pile of manure left in the road.
The cart was badly damaged and Martin, aged 56, suffered terrible injuries and almost died. But he went on to make a full recovery.
Harry’s ancestors were mostly farm labourers based in Norfolk.
Records show his great-great-great-great grandad Robert Dennington,33, was involved in a scuffle over a pint of beer in 1859 and stole a black coat two years later.
Liam Payne’s granddad Douglas Harris had his own bread delivery round in Birmingham when he wed in 1950.
Four of Liam’s great-great granddads worked on the railways - two were railway porters, one was a labourer and Harry Harris was a railway coach hand driller.
Liam’s great great great granddad Michael Biddulph followed in his dad John’s footsteps to become a barber in Birmingham - despite being deaf and mute.
Another of his great-great-great granddads William Hopkins worked as a pearl button maker in Birmingham.
Liam’s great grandmother Rosina Biddulph was a leather stitcher and later a screw worker when she married in 1929.
Louis’s great-great-great-great grandad William Poulston was a basket maker in Manchester despite being blind.
Part of Louis’s family lived in Belgium until the 1880s.
Is anyone remembering when Harry was like - "Louis is 1/8th Belgian" (or something like that...like calm down, curly!)
Guitar-playing Niall Horan hails from a long line of labourers and farmers, mostly based in his native County Westmeath in Ireland.
Zayn Malik’s ancestors include masons and shoe makers while great-great-great-great-granddad Adam Bromley was a hawker.
And in what may be the first ever Styles relative to get mobbed and molested by a female "fan," they have a story about one of Harry's relatives who was "indecently assaulted":
Pop Star Harry Styles is used to being mobbed by touchy-feely female fans – and it runs in the family.
Because the great-great-great-great grandfather of the 19-year-old One Direction star was robbed by pickpocket Margaret Murphy in London back in 1827.
Research by family history website ancestry.co.uk shows that William Tricker Baker, 21, accused Murphy of stealing his cash and “indecently” assaulting him.
William told a court in London: “On January 25, about 20 minutes after 12 o’clock at night I was opposite Mr Stap’s, a cheesemonger’s shop on Holborn Bridge.
“I had four half crowns, three shillings and two sixpences loose in my breeches pocket.
"I saw the prisoner, who was quite a stranger, coming from Fleet Market.
"She caught me round the waist and said, ‘My love’ – I could not shake her off. She pushed me against Mr Stap’s shop door.
“She put her hand down, and laid hold of me indecently, and as soon as I drew one hand out to remove hers, she thrust my hand against the door, and put her own into my pocket, and got my money out.
“I was perfectly sober and I had taken no liberties with her.”
The judge found Murphy guilty and she was deported to Australia.
This almost sounds like really horribly written old timey fanfic LOL!