TWELVE DAYS OF CANDYISMAS
November 27th, 2009 | 
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SO SINCE TODAY IS OFFICIALLY THE START OF CHRISTMAS MAYHEM(AND REALLY, ISNT TRAMPLING PEOPLE TO DEATH OVER A DISCOUNTED DORA THE EXPLORER DOLL WHAT CHRISTMAS IS ALL ABOUT?) AND I HEARD MY FIRST HOLIDAY SONG ON THE RADIO THIS MORNING….I THOUGHT IT’S TIME FOR CANDYLAND TO HAVE THEIR OWN HOLIDAY JINGLE.
IF FREAKIN JUDAS PRIEST CAN HAVE A HOLIDAY CD (WUT. I SAW IT ON VH1) THEN WE SURE AS HELL CAN HAVE ONE SONG.
“THE TWEVLE DAYS OF CANDYISMAS”
ON THE FIRST DAY OF CANDYISMAS MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME
A GAY KISS ON MY TV.
ON THE SECOND DAY OF CANDYISMAS MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME
A RED AND BLUE GUITAR, AND A GAY KISS ON MY TV.
ON THE THIRD DAY OF CANDYISMAS MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME
THREE BUSSA CAPZ, A RED AND BLUE GUITAR, AND A GAY KISS ON MY TV.
ON THE FOURTH DAY OF CANDYISMAS MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME
FOUR FUCKING JACKETS, THREE BUSSA CAPZ, A RED AND BLUE GUITAR, AND A GAY KISS ON MY TV.
ON THE FIFTH DAY OF CANDYISMAS MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME
FIVE GOLDEN COCK RINGS, FOUR FUCKING JACKETS, THREE BUSSA CAPZ, A RED AND BLUE GUITAR, AND A GAY KISS ON MY TV.
ON THE SIXTH DAY OF CANDYISMAS MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME,
SIX BUTTONS MISSING, FIVE GOLDEN COCK RINGS, FOUR FUCKING JACKETS, THREE BUSSA CAPZ , A RED AND BLUE GUITAR, AND A GAY KISS ON MY TV.
ON THE SEVENTH DAY OF CANDYISMAS MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME
SEVEN CROTCHES THRUSTING, SIX BUTTONS MISSING, FIVE GOLDEN COCK RINGS, FOUR FUCKING JACKETS, THREE BUSSA CAPZ, A RED A BLUE GUITAR, AND A GAY KISS ON MY TV.
ON THE EIGHTH OF CANDYISMAS MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME
EIGHT GOKEYS’ PRECAHING, SEVEN CROTCHES THRUSTING, SIX BUTTONS MISSING, FIVE GOLDEN COCK RINGS, FOUR FUCKING JACKETS, THREE BUSSA CAPZ , A RED AND BLUE GUITAR, AND A GAY KISS ON MY TV.
ON THE NINTH DAY OF CANDYISMAS MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME
NINE GMA’S A FREAKIN, EIGHT GOKEY’S PREACHING, SEVEN CROTCHES THRUSTING, SIX BUTTONS MISSING, FIVE GOLDEN COCK RINGS, FOUR FUCKING JACKETS, THREE BUSSA CAPZ, A RED A BLUE GUITAR, AND A GAY KISS ON MY TV.
ON THE TENTH DAY OF CANDYISMAS MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME
TEN TWINKS A BOUNCING, NINE GMA’S A FREAKING, EIGHT GOKEYS PREACHING, SEVEN CROTCHES THRUSTING, SIX BUTTONS MISSING, FIVE GOLDEN COCK RINGS, FOUR FUCKING JACKETS, THREE BUSSA CAPZ, A RED AND BLUE GUITAR, AND A GAY KISS ON MY TV.
ON THE ELEVENTH DAY OF CANDYISMAS MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME
ELEVEN MATT’S A SCORNING, TEN TWINKS A BOUNCING, NINE GMA’S A FREAKING, EIGHT GOKEYS PREACHING, SEVEN CROTCHES THRUSTING, SIX BUTTONS MISSING, FIVE GOLDEN COCK RINGS, FOUR FUCKING JACKETS, THREE BUSSA CAPZ, A RED AND BLUE GUITAR, AND A GAY KISS ON MY TV.
ON THE TWELVTH DAY OF CANDYISMAS MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME
TWELVE LADY HIPS A SWAYING, ELEVEN MATT’S A SCORNING, TEN TWINKS A BOUNCING, NINE GMA’S A FREAKING, EIGHT GOKEYS PREACHING, SEVEN CROTCHES THRUSTING, SIX BUTTONS MISSING, FIVE GOLDEN COCK RINGS, FOUR FUCKING JACKETS, THREE BUSSA CAPZ, A RED AND BLUE GUITAR, AND A GAY KISS ON MY TV.
GOD BLESS US—EVERYONE!!
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BELIEVE IT, I WAS SOOOO SINGING THAT AS I READ IT
The deluxe ITunes version should include the countdown to JC’s induction to N!DTA as a bonus feature.
DID SOMEONE SAY COCK RINGS??
ahahaha Fantastic!!!
JC—U R GETTNG A LUMP OF COAL FOR THAT ONE RIGHT THERE.
Love it! Ah, the spirit of the season.
good lord gokey, put that away.
brilliant chunky!
chunkey, you’re a mo-fo-geniussssssssssss!!!!
this deserves a podcast duet from me an you bb. we should do a duet on this.
LOLZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!
That. was. AWESOME!!!!!!
A++++ Chunkey, you are FABULOUSLY creative!
yayayayayayayayayay!
A dream come true: if HH or HP saw this and bubbletweeted it. *hint* *hint* (yeah, I’m talkin’ to YOU,
,we know you guys lurk here cuz Candy’s got the BEST no-holds-barred Kradam website ANYWHERE!!!!!)
AND OH BTW BBC, I STILL KEEP THE WHOLE N!DTA INDUCTION THINGY (AS PER MY BDAY PRESENT TO JC!) HEHEHEHHE….
Just got home from work, waiting for my dinner to heat up put the computer on and what to my surprise Chunkey has a Christmas Carroll that is hilarious, LMAO, tears coming down my face, oh how I love this place and the people. You really should do a podcast duet.
Glad GMA’s got a shoutout- and if I could think of a word worse than fucking- those blank blank blank idiots.
P.S. In the spirit of this Christmas post-that was brilliant. I so love it here too.
*SINGING ALONG*
major eww to Danny’s tongue-feel like wretching up my dinner.
Merry Candyismas!! Still questioning your choice to put Gokey in the song, but. . . ah well. We have to make sacrifices for our religion, you know.
Loved the song. Loved the tags. Can we have a full album by ‘What Are They Doing New Year’s Eve’? Off to eat more leftovers. Merry Candyismas to all, and to all a great laugh.
Whoever gave the eight Gokeys preaching as a gift must not like you very much lol sounds like torture!
My favorite is the four fucking jackets lol
Loved this! Would love it even more if someone would tell me what Bussa Capz are!!
DEfan: bussa caps…plural of “bust a cap”, aka, shoot a bullet
DEFAN—IT’S SOMETHING ALLISON WOULD SAY IN HER TWITTER. ALL MISPELLED CRAZILY. BUSSA CAP SONNNNNN. LOL.
Chunkey is HBIC of da song writing!
Scorned![verb]Matt[noun]. xD Thanks for the laugh, Chunkey! Eight preaching Gokeys cracked me up.
Ah-hah! Thank you, skerrrdy and Chunkey!
how on earth did I miss this! awesome as usual chunkey!!!!